Stay Connected with Work Colleagues
Using These Four Simple Steps
Saying Goodbye to Work Colleagues is Bitter Sweet
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?
- I used to wish for a moment to myself, now I can go all day without talking to anyone (outside my immediate household)
- When I left we all said, ‘let’s stay in touch.’ But do people really mean it? Do I really mean it?
- Whenever I think of sending a message to someone, too often it is at an inconvenient time.
We all spent so much time at work interacting with people formally or informally. So regardless of the kind of work you did, retirement is likely to be a big adjustment. I know I used to actually look forward to my train ride home just to have a moment to myself. Now, I have lots of moments alone – some of these I cherish and enjoy, some not so much.
The people I worked with every day had a huge impact on me. And I made the conscious decision that I wanted to keep them in my life. But it doesn’t happen all by itself. I have to make a clear effort.
These four clear steps worked well for me. See if you can make them work for you.
Start with a List
Put together a special contact list of the people you left behind with whom you would like to keep in touch. Try to gather as much information as you can such as:
- Full name
- Phone numbers – work and cell if you can
- Email – work and home
- Address
- Spouse’s name; children’s names
- Home address
- Birthday
- Social Media Names or Contact info
Some of these items you may have in your work papers or even your memory (e.g. spouse name). But they could easily disappear from a handy place if you don’t record them soon. Other items may not be easily available. But try to get and write down as many as you can now. Each of these data elements could be helpful as you continue the process.
Record this information in your computer’s contact list. I use an Apple computer and therefore the Contacts Application that Apple provides. And their Contacts Application also lets you can create groups which is very helpful for this exercises. So after you have the data recorded, then drag that name into the group you designate. The contact stays in the overall list. It just also appears in the group when you click on that.
(See below for step by step details how to use the Contacts Application for adding contacts and creating and populating groups.)
Incorporate a Plan (schedule time and set priorities)
Use Your Block Schedule to Help
Using the Block Schedule we learned in another post or a method of your own, think about a day/time in your normal week that would be a good time for sending out messages.
For example, in my ‘normal’ week, Monday morning is the time I set aside for working at my desk. I use this time to catch up on general housekeeping items and other work that involves my computer. For me, this is an ideal time to add in reminder to myself to reach out via email.
When I sit down to my computer on Monday mornings, I know I will be looking through that list and pulling out names to contact. Having this dedicated time helps me make sure I ask myself this question at least once a week – who do I want to reach out to. Having that complete list of contact information helps me make sure I can complete the task.
Put Your Pride Aside
So many times I heard people say, “Well, I sent an email several weeks ago and haven’t received a response. So I’m not going to reach out again. It’s her/his turn.”
You have probably done something similar where time passed since someone reached out. And you feel awkward answering it now. So maybe this happened to the other person too.
Side Story About My Dad and His Friend
My father included a note in his Christmas card to a former colleague but heard no response. He was very sad about that. So my sister was able to track down the colleague’s email. She tried to get Dad to reach out again. But he resisted. He felt that the individual made it clear he didn’t want to stay in touch.
One time when I was visiting, we actually took a drive near the colleague’s home. But still Dad didn’t want to intrude. After much coaxing, we convinced him to send another message. Still no answer, until one day there was a knock on the door. The individual came by for a visit and explained how pre-occupied he has been lately with his wife’s health. But he was so emotionally boosted by me dad’s email that he got in his car and drove the 30 minutes to come by for an impromptu visit.
The two gentlemen had a wonderful time and were both elated with the visit.
Now reading this, are you sure you want to hold on to your pride instead of reaching out again? We never know what the other person is going through. Maybe you could give them the benefit of the doubt.
Use Different Approaches for Starting the Conversation
So now we’ve established personal value in staying in touch with colleagues. We talked about deliberately setting aside time for yourself. You have a detailed list of contact information. And you are willing to push aside your pride to take the first step and perhaps more steps. Now let’s talk about different ways of reaching out.
- Email – sometimes an email saying something as simple as ‘Hey, I’ve been thinking of you lately and wondering how you’re doing….’ Is the best way to just get the conversation started.
- Forward a relevant article – Maybe you’ve come across an article lately that made you think of someone. It would be nice to forward that with a little note saying how this reminded you of them. I know I would be really happy to receive something like that.
- Connect on LinkedIn – if you aren’t connected already
- Connect on Other Social Media – I always felt that connecting with people I worked with on Social Media was a no-no. But now we aren’t working together anymore. It was a little awkward at first. But once we connected, it was great. Then so many others continued down the path.
- Phone Call – No one calls anyone any more! And it’s such a shame. Every once in a while I will get a phone call from a former colleague. I always wind up feeling so happy that someone thought of me.
Side Story About That Unexpected Phone Call
I got a call once from a former boss one day several months ago when I was walking through the mall. If he had sent me a text or email saying, “is this a good time for a call?”, I would have said no. But instead he just called.
I simply walked out of the store and just sat on one of the sofas in the middle of the mall. We had such a good talk.
If I had said, please call me later, that may not have happened.
Connecting with former colleagues maybe started as something you do for yourself. But it may be just what they need right now too.
PLUS: Step by Step Guide for Creating and Editing Contacts and Groups (Apple)
I’ve had a Contacts list for years. But I never really needed to organize it or do much with it before. But now that list is so important to me. So I took some time to learn more about how the application works. You maybe know all this already, but in case you don’t, hope this helps.
Add Contacts
- Open the Contacts application by clicking on the application in the tool bar (looks like a brown book). Or open it in the applications folder by clicking on the face icon at the bottom left, going to Applications and clicking on Contacts
- Click on the + sign at the bottom of the screen. Select ‘Add Contact’.
- You will see a blank screen where you can input the data.
Note: The Contact template is set up with certain key data fields (e.g. name, email, etc). But you can also add other fields by clicking on the + sign at the bottom and scroll down to ‘More Fields’. Click on the arrow and select from their list of other fields. You can also add whatever information you want to the ‘notes’ section at the bottom of each Contact section.
Edit Contact Information
If you only have a little information on the person to start with, that’s ok. You can always add more data later.
- Open the Contacts Application (see above)
- Click on ‘All iCloud’. You should see a list of all the contacts you have added.
- Click on the name you want to edit. Then click on the ‘Edit’ button at the bottom
- Click ‘Done’ when finished
Create a Group
- Open the Contacts Application (see above)
- Click on the + sign at the bottom, and select ‘Add New Group’
- You will see a new group appear on the left side listed as ‘untitled group’
- Name the group. Click on the ‘untitled group’ words (may have to click a second time, or hold down clicker – be sure to have the cursor right on the words themselves). You will see the box behind the name now appear white. At this point, you can type in the new name you want to use.
Populate the Group
- Click on ‘All iCloud’ on the left side. You should see all your contacts then listed on the right
- Scroll through and when you see a contact you want to add to a group, click on that name and drag it to the Group you named for this purpose. The contact will not disappear from the ‘All iCloud’ list. But it should now appear also in the new group when you click on that.
Note: Think carefully about how you want to set up these groups. The Contacts Application also gives you the opportunity to send an email to the whole group, for example. So think about how you might want to use these groups.